And don’t you forget it. Here are 10 of life’s perks reserved for the exclusive enjoyment of The Gays:
1) Get a Boyfriend, Double Your Wardrobe
Before you met him, you owned a dozen tank tops. Boom. Now you’ve got 24. Sharing clothes with your partner is not only one of the best perks of being gay, it’s also economically practical, which means there’s money left over for a few more much needed tank tops.
2) We Get Better Head
No offense, Ladies. We know there are plenty of women out there who break out the knee pads and go to town on a dick like it’s a margarita dispenser. But there’s nothing quite like the expert treatment your man parts get from someone who’s in possession of the owner’s manual for the same equipment.
3) Our Porn is Better Too
A straight guy watching straight porn needs to mentally block out the huge hulk of man-ass, muscle, and cock that’s administering the pounding of the nice young lady he’s trying to jerk off to. That’s a significant portion of screen space being filled with stuff that’s not aiding his boner. When gay guys watch gay porn, we get to enjoy 100% of what we see.
4) You’re Free
Ask any straight person approaching 30. The pressure is mounting from all sides to get married, make babies, buy a sedan, sign a mortgage, and live out your years making monthly payments on all of the above. When you come out as gay, everyone pretty much gives up on pushing you into that conventional life. Call it a blessing in disguise. Relieved of the burden of society’s expectations, you’re free to ask yourself what you really want out of life, and pursue those goals on your own terms.
5) You Don’t Have To Worry About Someone Calling You Gay
Next time someone calls you a cocksucker, hold your head up high and confidently reply, “Yes I am. And a damn good one too.”
Own that shit.
6) Flip Fucking
Some guys refuse to bottom while others only bottom, but the majority of us fall somewhere in the middle. The beauty of being versatile is the freedom to assume a full range of sexual roles from dominant to submissive, at any given time. Once in a great while, conditions are just right for the holy grail of sexual encounters: The Flip Fuck. Fact: Compared to regular sex, flip fucking lasts roughly twice as long and is exactly twice as fun.
7) “Unplanned Pregnancy” Isn’t Part Of Our Lexicon
Just one less thing to worry about.
And speaking of no children,
8) Disposable Income
Many gay couples are choosing to raise a family these days, and more power to ‘em. For the rest of us, not being saddled with kids frees up a surplus of time, energy, and money that gets redirected towards recreational pursuits, like vacations, dining, creative hobbies, and exercise. They don’t call children “dream crushers” for nothing. Just kidding. But seriously though.
9) We Get Our Own Neighborhoods
Okay, straight people have their own neighborhoods too. Okay, straight people have pretty much all the neighborhoods. But The Gayborhood is home to your city’s best eats, liveliest bars, and most interesting people. Beneath the rainbow flags you’ll find a welcoming atmosphere, and the kind of tight knit community bond that can only mean everyone’s slept with everyone at one point or another.
10) We’re Living In Amazing Times
Support for gay rights is at an all time high. Each of us gets to play a part in pushing forward what is likely the most rapidly advancing cultural shift in American history. That deserves a great big fuck yeah.
What do YOU love most about being gay?
I see what you did there and there and yes there..
I do so appreciate this post and Raanan Rosenfield whoever you are!
Yyyy
And apparently, being gay means you’re only a thin white privileged male age 17-21.
When you create a list like this and use those photos, it only perpetuates a culture with a weak foundation of superficiality. While I get that the list is supposed to be fun and cute, there are much more valuable life benefits to being a proud and open individual. It doesn’t come easy, though.
I agree with “Dan’s comment:” according to this list and its photos “apparently, being gay means you’re only a thin white privileged male age 17-21.”
You’d think according to this article, there were no gay people of different colors and sizes. Way to turn a cheap article into a further propulsion of gay superficiality and stereotypes.
You guys realize this is helix studios….. those are probably all pictures from their “films”
Come down people… know your source…. its an article by Helix Studios, all they employ are twinky white boys… they are clearly selling a product
what about second breakfast?
I thought is was a great list, both serious and funny. This is Helix, the number one twink site in the world. Why wouldn’t they use their own models in the pictures? The list applies to all ages. I am a 74 year old “daddy” and you wouldn’t want to illustrate with my pictures. Most of the readers would want to go barf. Thanks Helix for continuing to inspire and turn me on. There may be frost on the roof, but there is still fire in the furnace.
I thought “it”…..
I’ve been paying taxes long enough to remember when it was entirely proper to beat a “queer” half to death (sometimes worse) and mere possession of a depiction of homosexual activity was a felony. Many hundreds went to prison for the “Infamous Crime Against Nature” and similar charges, and to this day are required to register as sex offenders. All of the above ten observations are so refreshing and are the end-product of the 15-year battle that started blowing up between “The Boys of Boise” and “Stonewall”, and continues to smolder, at a vastly reduced intensity, to this day.